Clearing a hurdle

You don't look so excited...

You must swamped with chores now (add sympathetic frown)

Why aren't you throwing a fancy wedding?

She won't be wearing a wedding dress!? (Gasp!)

You won't be going on a honeymoon?? Are you crazy?

What do you mean you're giving away the TV set once you get married?

WHY AREN'T YOU EXCITED DAMNIT!

The greatest difficulty I faced ever since me and Irene decided to get married has been trying to answer the ridiculous questions thrown at me by narrow-minded people.

For one, I do not believe in making a huge deal out of an bureaucratic procedure. The state wants to keep tabs on who's having sex with who, that's fine by me. But I really think the "ooh"s and "aah"s and the fireworks and the cake and the balloons and six thousand doves released to symbolize our endless love... yeah, I think that's a lot of bullshit.

I want to get married to Irene, I love her, and we would have gotten married eventually. But right now, it's just another hurdle to clear in order to move to Taiwan.

And so far, we're doing great. Wedding date is set, invitations are almost done (hand-made I might add), outfits are already chosen.. and yes.. that's it.

Once we are married, we're going to apply to the Taiwan consulate to start our immigration procedures.. Now, that's something to be excited about.

Getting ready for my new life : Decluttering

Stuff. Stuff everywhere.

Books, hundreds of books, many many DVDs. They all look pretty and colorful, and they remind me that I've spent a decent amount of time and money on them.

Then I have knitting supplies, polymer clay, many different types of paint, acrylics, watercolors, markers, color pencils, I have tons of felt, felting needles. Jars of buttons. It's a real crafter's haven.

But then, I have a dirty confession. Although I possess all these cool stuff, I don't get to use them as much. I have a closet full of clothes and at least of quarter of it has been worn only a few times. Same goes with my shoes, my sewing machine, my scuba diving gear, my underwater camera housing, my brooches, stickers, postcards. Don't get me started with all the stationary.

Yes, I love them all, and have a fond heart towards them, but I don't need most of them anymore. And here's the biggest catch, I can't carry it all to Taiwan.

My university years have been very eye opening. Although I never was a consumerist, I got to realize how each and every person gets to gather up so much clutter. People buy stuff, they get all the things they don't need, and I don't blame them because everything is just so well packaged and appealing. But for me, this has to change. I don't want to be part of the system, and getting rid of a lot of stuff is going to help a lot. I feel all these stuff are creating a burden on me, putting a huge weight on my shoulders, gathering dust. Spiritually speaking, I was never greedy, I've never wanted luxurious stuff, and most of my things were very useful. The books I read were enjoyable, I always bought my DVD's from the discount rack, and the stationary is so cheap that I brought them from Taiwan. But I really really don't need all this anymore. Doruk and I decided that we wanted to get to read good books and watch good films, but we don't necessarily have to possess and display them all over the place. And the technology is so much better now, paper books are so ephemeral, keeping them in a digital archive will not only save us more space but it will de-clutter our lives too. I think it's a good exercise, getting rid of many stuff, it cleanses me from any potential greed and I find it very liberating, it makes me help prioritize. It reminds me what's important. And I feel that my activities, friendships, my experiences are far more important than possessions.

So I'm going through my things, one by one, making an inventory of them. I'm going to put a lot of stuff on sale and many others will go for donation. Some have a sentimental value, such as the bags and junk my aunts gave me through the years, but it's just too much.

I had a tiny speck of hesitation, when going through all my stuff, partly due to my parents being keepers and that they really have trouble throwing out or giving away anything. But I went to a friend of mine's thesis defense and the eldest professor who was in her committee told us that he donated a whopping 4000 books to the university's library and went digital when my friend offered to give him a hard copy of her thesis. He asked her to send a PDF.

Times are changing. The way we think about space is changing too. By getting rid of these, I will be saving at least 3 metersquares of wall space. I won't be able to take much with me, and when we start a new life with Doruk in Taipei, space is going to be very valuable. It makes me feel great that we approach space in similar ways and we don't get caught up with the consumerist culture, which is quite prominent here in Istanbul.

They are just stuff after all. And if you want books, DVD's you can always go to the library. If you want to craft, you can always go and buy enough supplies for a given project. My room is quite empty but through the years I notice that I have stashed a lot. Given the fact that most people buy so much more than I do doesn't legitimize it, but now I'm busy fixing it, and it feels great !

Meet the bloggers: Doruk

Hi there!

I am a 30-year-old internet news editor at CNBC's Turkish affiliate in Istanbul and the proud owner of the silliest hamster ever.

My girlfriend Irene and I decided to move to Taiwan in hopes of building a brighter future for ourselves , as well as having a more fulfilling and meaningful life than the one that is being imposed on us here in Turkey.

We will spend the next year prepping for our exodus from Turkey and our new life in Taiwan and keep posting updates on this blog as we go along.

That's pretty much it for now..

Cheers!